Initially it is difficult to ‘see’ or truly understand what was meant when I was listening to or reading about matters of a more ‘spiritual’ theme. I knew I was very interested, and had been for a long time, but I didn’t know how to define it. I always loved nature, animals, being in the company of young children, art, painting, music, the seaside, human kindness, compassion, peaceful and quiet contemplation, philosophical discussion, humanity as a whole, sculptures made of wood and other natural materials, good wholesome food, beautiful flowers and gardens, crystals, gems and natural rocks, setting aside time to look after others who needed additional help, the list is very long! But more than that, when I say ‘loved’ them, what I mean is, they gave me such feelings of joy and contentment. I came to realise the more I took notice and gave these things my attention, the more the ‘passions’ grew. But not instantly, the process of understanding what is good for you as a person and what is definitely not, can take years, often we ‘repeat’ the bad stuff over and over. You don’t just suddenly wake up one day and say, “Oh! now I get it, I’m altogether spiritually aware, I just never noticed before!” The process of having our eyes opened, or being awakened, is the invisible forces of the Universe trying really hard to get our attention and it’s something we do not readily understand so well due to it being very subtle and not in your face obvious! After four years of intense input on the Universe’s behalf (the tenacity of which I am truly grateful for) I began to understand that I had been being prodded over and over to pay attention to my true self since I was a child. Most of the choices, particularly in work, that I had made since my early 20’s were completely the opposite to what would have served my true nature correctly. I’ve generally been viewed as always having been fairly headstrong and willfully independent, and this contributed to the ensuing 40 year battle (unbeknown to me at the time) because the things I was choosing were going against what was ‘right’ for me all along. It was very difficult for me to see it was just not working! I blamed a lot of my misfortune on bad luck, or any other excuse I could find at the time.
So what changed? Quite simply, I started to pay attention to the intensity of the ‘signs’ I was being given on how to feed my soul in a more positive way which would then alter my course. My urges, intentions and motivation to follow these behaviours increased, and the urges were so compelling I could no longer ignore them, such as:
- Having an unexplainable desire to eat completely natural foods
- When nature literally called me to be outside more and admire her beauty as often as possible
- Losing the desire and interest in endless hours of inane TV, particularly the news
- Regular urges to de-clutter the home and ‘shed’ surplus possessions
- The desire to move away from/cease any addictions, dangerous or toxic habits
- Becoming more aware that I seem to ‘know’ things more accurately or intuitively than I can put into words, but not really understanding how or why
- When ‘drama’, or unnaturally elevated situations feel like they physically ‘hurt’
- If thinking about work causes high levels of stress or anxiety, or made me feel ill I was beginning to understand it was not right for me
- When the ‘timing’ of events become much more significant than mere ‘coincidence’ or chance, and people or objects appear suddenly from places least expected
- When the desire to learn new things is emphasised almost out of proportion from your normal routine.
Any or all of these, together with varying combinations of similar occurrences are firm indicators that the course of our lives is being changed for a greater good or purpose. I was slow to understand this and take it on board, as I believed I already had life mapped out the way it should be. I can now take a great deal of comfort from having finally surrendered to what I was being guided to, and for accepting the gift that has been there all along, but which through my lack of knowledge, I denied myself. Stepping onto this much more natural path became the start of my spiritual journey. Consciously choosing to reduce negative energies to a minimum and keep a more constant flow of positive energy throughout my mind and body system became a practice. Realising I could alter the outcome of situations by being more in control of my reactions to them meant that I no longer ‘held on’ to increasing amounts of negative energy in my physical system, but instead learned how to let them pass ‘through’ me.
Our lives can change remarkably in extraordinarily wonderful ways we never thought they could when we understand that we can be renewed by living in the present each day. It becomes possible to achieve more freedom, love, happiness, real and whole contentment and good fortune than we could ever have dreamed of or envisaged before.